Suggestions for singles

Odd title you might say, but as some may have guessed, my poll in the sidebar of late wasn’t just an idle interest thing, in fact, its what I’m going to base this blog on!

When I go to jazz gigs, I often see a couple of girls I wouldn’t mind at least talking to, but most of them seem to be engrossed in conversation with friend(s). While this would be fine if you got a chance to chat later or *some other time*, you just don’t. Thats right, the whole night chatting. Now fair do’s if you are not single and all that, but I refuse to believe, given the number of couples at these kind of things, that every girl who is there just with friends just happens not to have brought their boyfriend along. So, if you are single and want any chance of someone coming up and talking to you, don’t spend the whole night chatting to your friend; sit back, talk less and look around. This makes others think you *might* be available for the smallest of chats at somepoint and immediately makes you more approachable. I’m glad to see that while this was my view all along, the voters seem to agree with me – the majority indicating that someone chatting with their friend would put them off asking them to dance – the kind of thing its nice to do at a jazz club. If you are a single someone who spends their nights out talking to friends, just think, not only will taking some time off from doing so make it easier for someone to speak to you, but you might notice someone you want to speak to as well.

So, onto my second related, but not poll based point. If you are not single and find yourself chatting to a member of the opposite sex you have just met at a venue, *please* drop in that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. It doesn’t take much, and immediately lets the person know that if they are chatting to you for *that* reason that they won’t get anywhere. There is nothing I hate more than it to take an hour or so of talking to a girl before finding out that she is not single. It’s annoying and a waste of time. I admit that I could ask directly, but this is a bit up front if you have just met someone and makes you look like you are not interested in them as a person, but dropping it into the conversation is far easier. If you are in a relationship,then when talking about yourself just *happen* to drop in something you did with your partner, and mention they are your partner in the process. There, job done. Not too hard and really helps the singletons. You might say its harsh to say speaking to a non-single person is a waste of time, but I don’t mean that in the direct sense. While if they are single and you are interested in them you might want to talk for an hour, if they are in a relationship you might like to just speak for say 15 mins or so and then find someone else to talk to. If you drop in if you are single or not within the first 5 minutes it means you can still have a nice conversation, and also help people out a bit. In my humble opinion its just common courtesy.

I’m sure the flames and counterpoints are going to roll my way now, but I just had to blog about this one as its been really getting to me, lol


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  1. Laura Said,

    May 7, 2006 @ 9:00 pm

    ok some good points made, and on the whole i do agree with it. I feel that “dropping” into the convo your not single could seem a bit big headed. You know that people don’t always start convos because they want to date you. Although I do admit in general any female-male relationship started in the way you’ve descride is due to an attraction on one side. Ok sure I have lots of other opinions on this but i can’t construct it at the mo. Luv ya sweetie

  2. Kieran Said,

    May 7, 2006 @ 9:37 pm

    Thanks for your comments 🙂

    “I feel that “dropping” into the convo your not single could seem a bit big headed. You know that people don’t always start convos because they want to date you.”

    This is very true, but there are ways of doing it so that its hardly noticeable but would be picked up by someone interested in dating you. Lame example;

    Person 1: “I’m interested in watersports, esp surfing”
    Person 2: “Oh really, you been anywhere worth mentioning?”
    Person 1: “Well last summer me and my [insert_b/f_or_g/f_here] went to [insert_place_name_here] and the waves were really good. Definitely want to go back again sometime.

    Lame example I know, but I think it illustrates how it would be quite easy to drop that in as part of normal conversation without being big-headed but still make it handy to those looking to date you if you are not single. After all sentances like that are common-place and people don’t think anything of them.

    I know that not everyone is interested in dating you when they talk to you – far from it, but that doesn’t mean they never are, and if they are its sure nice to know if you are single or not. As I said, chatting with a random stranger just because is fine, but at a venue with loads of people to talk to, you might not want to take as long with someone just for a chat as if you were interested in dating them.

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